We’re sick ‘n’ tarred of hear’n about how dumb people are in the South, so we challenge you so-called "smart" Yankee's to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane ( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet! and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 4 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?I betcha thought that this here test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?
It's okay if''n ya'll didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya: There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.
republican and democratic hillary clinton bumper sticker
Finally, a new bumper sticker for BOTH political parties.
This hottest selling political bumper sticker comes from New York State:
"RUN HILARY RUN'
Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.
This hottest selling political bumper sticker comes from New York State:
"RUN HILARY RUN'
Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.
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