South Carolina Redneck Bumper Sticker
Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.
Bad Boys Bad Boys ...Police Chatter
These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car
videos around the country:
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the
one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
dogs, and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets
a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
your bail."
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't. Sign here."
videos around the country:
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the
one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.
They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because
that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that
means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the
shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to
do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether
you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn
dogs, and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets
a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but
now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief [of Police] Hawker is a
personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post
your bail."
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're
right, we don't. Sign here."
Golf Joke That is Funny
Q: What's the difference between a golf ball and a G- spot?
A: A man will spend 30 minutes looking for a golf ball!
A: A man will spend 30 minutes looking for a golf ball!
Blonde Jokes a plenty
Somebody emailed me these ...mostly great ..good list
1. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
2. Q: What is the best secretary in the world to have?
A: The one that never misses a period.
3. Q: What do blondes say after sex?
A: "Thanks, guys!".
4.Q: What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic.
5. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic.
6. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Duke only 'had' Ten Thousand men.
7. Q: How does a horny guy spell relief?
A: B-L-O-N-D-E.
9. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
10. Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common?
A: Both contain a cockpit
12. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up Doll?
A: Around 2 cans of hair spray.
13. Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp?
A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way.
14. Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks?
A: Cos she's been laid all over the country.
16. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer?
A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet.
17. Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes?
A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends.
18.Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She scorched her lips on the exhaust pipe.
19. Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde?
A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking.
21. Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
23. Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme?
A: HumpMe DumpMe.
25. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Cuz everyone gets a turn.
28. Q: In a Blonde's mind what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
29. Q: Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a Coppers Horse?
A: So she won't sh*t on the street during a rally.
33. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
34. Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde lesbian?
A: Well, she kept having affairs with men.
35. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and most men?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
37. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
38. Q: When visiting Scotland, what is a Blonde's favorite destination?
A: Silicon Glen
39. Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
40. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
41. Q: What would a blonde use for protection during sex?
A: A bus shelter.
43. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
44. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.
45. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
46. Q: Why does a blond have T.G.I.F. on the front of her shirt?
A: Tits Go In Front.
47. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
48. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
51. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
52. Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers.
53. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week!
54. Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one
55. Q: What's the difference between a blonde on her back and a turtle on it's back?
A: Absolutely Nothing - both are totally screwed!
58. Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
A: Come.
60. Q: What do a blonde and an instant win lottery ticket have in common?
A: Simply scratch the box to win.
61. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
62. It's important to realise that Blondes can't go water-skiing - when their crotch gets wet they think they gotta lay down...
63. It's even more important to realise the big difference between blondes and bitches - a blonde will screw anyone, whilst a bitch will screw anyone but you...
64. It's worth remembering why blondes can't count to 70 - it's cos 69 is already a bit of a mouthful...
65. Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PHd in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.
66. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A: Well, not everybody's went to town in a limo!
67. Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin?
A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus
68. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.
70. Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right?
A: As if they've ever met!
71. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
72. Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
73. Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
74. Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta.
6. Q: What nickname is most used by blonde's in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J.
77. Q: What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette ...?
A: A blonde doing cartwheels.
78. Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refridgerator?
A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini.
79. Q: What's a 68 to a blonde?
A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one.
80. Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties?
A: Clitty litter.
81. Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room?
A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down...
82. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Because their balls would show.
83. Q: What do you call a blonde with an I.Q of 100?
A: A foursome.
85. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: There's a fold-up bed in the Stock room and permanent smiles on the Bosses' faces.
86. Q: What is a bellybutton for?
A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.
89. Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
90. Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?
A: To keep the swelling down.
91. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: Her employer found that she was embezzling.
92. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
94. Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blow job with handlebars.
95. Q: What did the blonde say during a xxx flick?
A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!"
96. Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.
98. Q: What does XXX stand for?
A: Blondes co-signing a note.
99. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set.
100. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
101. Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.
1. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
2. Q: What is the best secretary in the world to have?
A: The one that never misses a period.
3. Q: What do blondes say after sex?
A: "Thanks, guys!".
4.Q: What's the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic.
5. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic.
6. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Duke only 'had' Ten Thousand men.
7. Q: How does a horny guy spell relief?
A: B-L-O-N-D-E.
9. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
10. Q: What do a Boeing 747 and a blonde have in common?
A: Both contain a cockpit
12. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a blow-up Doll?
A: Around 2 cans of hair spray.
13. Q: Why is a blonde like a stamp?
A: Both get licked, then stuck, and finally sent on their way.
14. Q: Why is a blonde like railway tracks?
A: Cos she's been laid all over the country.
16. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been playing with your Computer?
A: Your joy stick will be soaking wet.
17. Q: Why do saunas remind some people of blondes?
A: Cos both are steamy and wet on entry, and hey, they don't mind if you bring friends.
18.Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A: She scorched her lips on the exhaust pipe.
19. Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde?
A: On slapping a Mosquito, it will stop sucking.
21. Q: How would a blond interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
23. Q: What's a blondes favorite Nursery Rhyme?
A: HumpMe DumpMe.
25. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: Cuz everyone gets a turn.
28. Q: In a Blonde's mind what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
29. Q: Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a Coppers Horse?
A: So she won't sh*t on the street during a rally.
33. Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
34. Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde lesbian?
A: Well, she kept having affairs with men.
35. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and most men?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
37. Q: What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10?
A: She picks up her purse and goes home.
38. Q: When visiting Scotland, what is a Blonde's favorite destination?
A: Silicon Glen
39. Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
40. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
41. Q: What would a blonde use for protection during sex?
A: A bus shelter.
43. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
44. Q: Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?
A: They both drip when they're fucked.
45. Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
46. Q: Why does a blond have T.G.I.F. on the front of her shirt?
A: Tits Go In Front.
47. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead.
48. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
51. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.
52. Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A: Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers.
53. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week!
54. Q: What do a 250cc Scooter and a blonde have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one
55. Q: What's the difference between a blonde on her back and a turtle on it's back?
A: Absolutely Nothing - both are totally screwed!
58. Q: How do you get a blonde off of her knees?
A: Come.
60. Q: What do a blonde and an instant win lottery ticket have in common?
A: Simply scratch the box to win.
61. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
62. It's important to realise that Blondes can't go water-skiing - when their crotch gets wet they think they gotta lay down...
63. It's even more important to realise the big difference between blondes and bitches - a blonde will screw anyone, whilst a bitch will screw anyone but you...
64. It's worth remembering why blondes can't count to 70 - it's cos 69 is already a bit of a mouthful...
65. Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PHd in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.
66. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A: Well, not everybody's went to town in a limo!
67. Q: Have you heard about the blonde virgin?
A: She hangs out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus
68. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
69. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.
70. Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right?
A: As if they've ever met!
71. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
72. Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
73. Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
74. Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta.
6. Q: What nickname is most used by blonde's in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J.
77. Q: What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette ...?
A: A blonde doing cartwheels.
78. Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refridgerator?
A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini.
79. Q: What's a 68 to a blonde?
A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one.
80. Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties?
A: Clitty litter.
81. Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room?
A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down...
82. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Because their balls would show.
83. Q: What do you call a blonde with an I.Q of 100?
A: A foursome.
85. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: There's a fold-up bed in the Stock room and permanent smiles on the Bosses' faces.
86. Q: What is a bellybutton for?
A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.
89. Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
90. Q: Why did the blonde guy put ice in his condom?
A: To keep the swelling down.
91. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A: Her employer found that she was embezzling.
92. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
94. Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blow job with handlebars.
95. Q: What did the blonde say during a xxx flick?
A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!"
96. Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.
98. Q: What does XXX stand for?
A: Blondes co-signing a note.
99. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Finland, turn around and come back home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a tv set.
100. Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
101. Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.
Global Warming or Global Disaster ?
Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Global Warming or Global Disaster ?
Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Global Warming or Global Disaster ?
Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Valentines Day Joke For Blonde Redneck Women Getting Flowers For Valentines Day
Two friends, a blonde and a redhead, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the redhead sees her boyfriend buying her flowers.The Redhead sighs and says: "Oh darn, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again."The blonde looks quizzically at her and says: "You don't like getting flowers from your boyfriend?"The redhead replies: "I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after giving me flowers, and I just don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legsin the air."
The blonde says: ........"Don't you have a vase?"
The blonde says: ........"Don't you have a vase?"
The Old Burma Shave Signs
Somebody emailed me the old slogans from Burma Shave
For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick
lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's. Before there were
interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs
would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields.
They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs,
about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line
couplet......and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular
shaving cream.
Here are more of the actual signs:
DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR.
BURMA SHAVE
TRAINS DON'T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
'CAUSE NOBODY SITS
IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP
Burma Shave
SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH
BY MISTAKE
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
HER HUSBAND JAKE
Burma Shave
DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED
NEXT IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave
BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE
Burma Shave
CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND MORE STEER
Burma Shave
SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?
Burma Shave
NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU
Burma Shave
A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'
Burma Shave
AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY
Burma Shave
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE
Burma Shave
THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
Burma Shave
CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.
Burma Shave
PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave
AT EASE SHE SAID
MANEUVERS BEGIN
WHEN YOU GET THOSE
WHISKERS OFF YOUR CHIN!!
Burma Shave
For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick
lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's. Before there were
interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs
would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields.
They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs,
about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line
couplet......and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular
shaving cream.
Here are more of the actual signs:
DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR.
BURMA SHAVE
TRAINS DON'T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
'CAUSE NOBODY SITS
IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP
Burma Shave
SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH
BY MISTAKE
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
HER HUSBAND JAKE
Burma Shave
DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
Burma Shave
DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED
NEXT IS NOT AMUSING
Burma Shave
BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE
Burma Shave
CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND MORE STEER
Burma Shave
SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT
Burma Shave
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE
Burma Shave
AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT?
Burma Shave
NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU
Burma Shave
A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN'
Burma Shave
AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY
Burma Shave
BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE
Burma Shave
THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING
Burma Shave
CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE.
Burma Shave
PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW
Burma Shave
AT EASE SHE SAID
MANEUVERS BEGIN
WHEN YOU GET THOSE
WHISKERS OFF YOUR CHIN!!
Burma Shave
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