Why Is A 25 Year Old Homosexual Male Like A 90 YearOld Heterosexual Redneck Male?
For Each One, Sex Is Behind Him.
Driving Test
You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your right side is a valley and on your left side is a fire engine
traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car
and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same
speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.
On your right side is a valley and on your left side is a fire engine
traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car
and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same
speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.
Redneck Truck Truth - yep..the old Ford (or Chevy )
Ranching Out
A big Texas rancher and a little Missouri farmer had a conversation.
The Texas rancher said, "I can get into my truck, drive it all day and not ever get off of my ranch!"
"Yeah," replied the little Missouri farmer, "I had a truck like that one time."
A big Texas rancher and a little Missouri farmer had a conversation.
The Texas rancher said, "I can get into my truck, drive it all day and not ever get off of my ranch!"
"Yeah," replied the little Missouri farmer, "I had a truck like that one time."
Beat The HEAT Redneck Style
1-Put a bag of frozen peas down your pants.
2-Attend an Adam Sandler movie and since nobody will be there, you can have the AC all to yourself .
3- Stick a couple of Budweisers in your overalls.
4-Dress up like a polar bear and tell a treehugger to call the ACLU to lobby for a new AC.
5-Beat the heat in a brisk circular motion using a wire whisk.
Remember, no lumps!
2-Attend an Adam Sandler movie and since nobody will be there, you can have the AC all to yourself .
3- Stick a couple of Budweisers in your overalls.
4-Dress up like a polar bear and tell a treehugger to call the ACLU to lobby for a new AC.
5-Beat the heat in a brisk circular motion using a wire whisk.
Remember, no lumps!
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